Hi Z,

Well it’s been way to long and I’m sorry. I’m doing okay papa. You’re at home with mommy and Gigi and I’m here at work. You’re 6 years old and I’m lucky to be your dad. Z you did amazing in baseball and I’m so happy you got to play. Right now you are in first grade and are starting to play football. Z you are so innocent and I don’t cry you know but I do get very emotional when I think about you and how you’re independent now. You are in first grade and I watch you at recess and at lunch and hope and pray everyday that you are being good and people are being nice to you since you are my baby. I hope Z that you are being nice and caring to everyone because you never know what people are going through and they might need a smile to make them happy or lift their spirits.

I miss you Z and I wish you really knew how much I love you. I always say that I’m a bad dad cuz I wanna discipline you and catch you with some hot ones when you’re yelling or making a scene but your mama always has your back when I try and get you. It’s all good Z I love you anyways.

School for you right now is a struggle but you had a mental health day on Friday and didn’t have the I pad or switch so you were bored and you seen your friends and were like daddy can I go to school now and you said that around 12 when you had 2 hours left of school which was funny. So far so good though papa like I said I get scared especially with Covid I seen you once when you had pneumonia I cried and don’t want to see you sick again.

For me Z I’m okay, I struggle at times cuz I miss my dad and I wish he was here to guide me with my life and choices but it makes me want to be a better dad to you. I think I had the best dad and I still think I do but I wanna be present and watch you grow up and one day be a daddy like me.

Gigi,

You’re one and you are a mini me of Z! I cry when I see you as you look just like Z when you get out of the bathtub. I cry and laugh and smile and your mom is like wtf but I love your brother and I love you too. You’re so beautiful and such a brat. I wish I could freeze time but time don’t stop for nobody. I’m enjoying everyday that I’m with you. We bought you new shows yesterday and I think you’re walking a little late but you’re 15 months and finally walking. I say that your lazy but you’re not we just spoil you and hold you. We had your baptism and Lorena and Alex are your nino and nina.

Okay Gigi and Z I gotta get back to work but I’ll be in touch with you again soon!

Love you both forever and ever!

Daddy