Hello Papa,

It’s about 8am and you’ve been asleep for about 30 minutes after waking up at 6am. I’m not tripping though since I got some good sleep in. I’m a little sick but I’m good overall. We were planning on going to the 209 this weekend but I ain’t feeling good so we’re gonna chill here. I wanted to go so that the family can see you since it’s been awhile. I don’t like them not being able to see you for such a long time but hopefully I can go next weekend so they can see how big your getting. 

Yesterday was my Tio Roberts birthday in which he would have turned 54 years old. I wish I could have been there with the family but it’s hard when we live far away. My Tio wasn’t perfect but he loved his family. It’s a trip too because we are here a minute and gone the next. As your Daddy now I know what my parents prolly feel and that’s a love and caring feeling that won’t ever go away. I love your grandparents no matter how far they are away from me and I hope that you will love me that much when you get my age. 

Last night when you were asleep I told you I would always be there and that I will always try and provide for you. Don’t get it twisted though Z I ain’t gonna bail you out all crazy I’m gonna let you learn somethings  the hard way so that you know what it’s like to work and get back up because the world we living in is crazy. I don’t even wanna tell you all the stuff that is going on but be careful and make smart decisions. 

Zebastian Zidane you are almost a year old and I get a little emotional when I look back on the time you were born to the time that you spent in the NICU to the times that you have smiled and crawled into my lap or arms. You’re our little miracle and you bring us all so much love. I thought what would I have done if something had happend to you and I know I would have been hurting but I honestly never even thought that I knew you would survive and you did. My mother in law told me and so did my dad that they were praying because you were so small and I was like shit I knew he was gonna make it but they also knew that it’s hard for babies to survive. Bottom line Z is that you have been a fighter from day one. You’re our papa bear and our world. I kind of just went out of the blue with this but I thought I’d share with you how I felt because it was a crazy week with you and it’s been a fun ride ever since 

Okay Z you’re waking up so I gotta go back to daddy duty but I love you papa and you are gonna have a nice shoe game when you start to walk. 

Love you,

Daddy

Hi Papa,

Damn Z you’re growing and are seriously learning and exploring everything everyday. Right now you are climbing up the sofa and trying to get out of your crib. You got a toy this weekend and you caught on quick. The toy is an elephant with 3 balls that you put in his nose/spout and you learned how to do that after watching mama do it. We got you a little car yesterday too that you loved. You’re spoiled baby boy a new car seat as well and some new clothes. Right now you have also learned how to make your self heavier by essentially making yourself “deadweight” it’s pretty funny because we will carry you and you don’t want to be carried so you wiggle out of it and crawl to wherever you want. You are getting more and more curious with things and exploring everything. We got you a new stroller that you love and we like it too since it’s so light and has a lot of shade for you. 

Since it’s summer I’m spending more and more time with you which is cool cuz I feel we are bonding and chilling with one another. 

That’s it for now. I’ll Holla at you later papa. 
Love you,

Daddy 

Hi Papa,

It’s been a few weeks since I last wrote you so I wanted to catch you up. Right now I’m watching you sleep and get ready to wake up. I do think know how to describe the love or connection that we have. I feel like you know who I am already and I love you more than I could ever describe. You’re currently 10 months and are full of love and happiness. 

My first father’s day was a good one, we went to the beach and we had some Acai bowls which is my new thang. We went to Santa Cruz beach boardwalk and walked around the stores until we decided on a place to chill. My papa used to take us there when we were little and I think that is why I have such a love for the water and Santa Cruz so I wanted to share that with you. You were a little shy and you held on close which made me feel good as you were very observant with your eyes and ears as you would hear the laughter and yells from the kids that were around us. I went in with you to about my knees and then I would walk out and look at you to see how you were doing and I think you liked it. I dipped your toes in the sand and you first did your big toe then slowly put both feet down. It was a good day for me and I loved being with you and mommy as she also supports my happy place. 

The following week I believe we got to see your uncle Matt and Lauren at their beach house for there beach week. It was great seeing them and introducing them to you. I’ve known Matt and his family since I was 11 years old that’s 20 years of friendship but he is a brother to me after that many years and he has been a great person to me and mommy over the years. We got to see his parents and Marky who is like a little brother to me is doing great playing ball overseas. It was a great time with them as they are so nice and calm. 

Next you got to see your great grandfather Don Cande as he is called. They made the trip from El Centro. You got to hang out with Noah and Bella your cousins along with the crazy girls Wendy, Rosa and Angela. We made some food on the grill and just had a good time. It’s always good to be around family. 

Z right now things are going good. We are house hunting and are nervous and anxious but at the same time excited as we want to have our own home for you. 

BTW I think your mom kicked you out of our bed recently idk if this was before or after your baptism but you have adjusted well. I think you needed your own space cuz you do sleep all crazy but I do miss sleeping next to you everyday. 

Lastly it’s been 6 months since my Tio Robert was taken away from us and there still hasn’t been any leads to the case. It’s crazy because it’s been 6 months already and I know  my family wants closure so that they can stop hurting. Life is to short and it’s to precious.

I know that was a lot of stuff and it was all over the place but I had to update you on everything. 

Mommy and I love you to the moon and back. 

Love you,

Daddy 

Hi Papa,

I guess my post didn’t go through on the day of your baptism.
Yesterday was your baptism day and it was special. You slept good, woke up like you do everyday with a smile and we’re your happy little self. My sister was the first one to see you all dressed up at the church  and I wasn’t really all caught up into the whole moment until we went up and seen the father put water on you. You were good, you were calm and he put it on you 3 times and on the third one you looked over at me and mommy like is this okay and it hit me a little like damn Z isn’t a baby he’s almost 10 months, he’s a beautiful little angel.

*there’s the 1st and now my other post*

Anyways papa you were amazing you did such an amazing job and mommy and I were so happy. Papa we both got a little emotional your mommy more than I but it was weird and hard for me to express/explain. I think it’s cuz you’re growing so fast and it made me think about the week that you were in the NICU since you were an early baby and to see you now it’s a major trip. We didn’t know what was gonna a happen and I’d be lying  if I told you I wasn’t scared but I was like nope this is my boy and he’s gonna fight and you sure did. 3 lbs 13 oz of fight has grown into almost 20 pounds of love and joy with some fight in you.

Aite that was me going down how I was feeling. Z you looked amazing and had to be one of the cutest babies there, you had shoes on that eventually came off, you had socks on that also came off and when we took you up there with the father to pour the Holy water you were barefoot and as happy as can be  the father poured water on you 3 times and on the 3rd you looked at mommy and I  (I felt like you did) to kinda say is this okay and that’s when all of those emotions came to me. After that we took pictures and then it was a rap. You had a very cute outfit that we got for you when we went to see your great grandfather.
After the baptism we took pictures and you did well but you needed to eat and was hot so we cut everything a little short but we did have some good pictures of you.

After all of that we went to Aquis and got some appetizers since we had an hour in a half to kill. We got to spend some quality family time which was cool because we don’t always get to see one another and chill. Even though it was immediate family it felt good to have you spend time with your Gaitan family because they love you and don’t always get to spend time with you. After Aquis we went to the Table and had lunch there and just talked. I was really quiet but it was because I was taking everything in. Family is important Z and time is even more important because that’s something that you don’t get back. When you get older please take the time to listen and respect people’s time Z because you will learn that your time is valuable and you don’t have time to waste.

Okay Z I love you and thank you for being such a good son.

Mommy and Daddy love you!!

Hello Papa,

I’m done with the 2015-2016 school year and it was a fun, busy, crazy school year but you made everyday worth getting up. I ain’t gonna lie sometimes I hate work but I think that’s somewhat normal but I do love what I do because I am able to help out students and families which is what makes me happy. This week was our last week and it was stressful but I and Mrs. Wexler got through it, we had a pretty cool dance and end of the year carnival which turned out great.

I’m watching Zootopia with you until you fell asleep but I am very thankful and honored to be your daddy. I love the 10 months that we have had together and honestly feel so much love when I’m with you and mommy. Your mommy loves you a lot and I know that you love her too. You’re too cute and have so much love it’s crazy, your laughs, giggles and dancing makes us love you even more my spoiled little baby.
Right now you are crawling up a storm, climbing anything and everything, dance up a storm with everyone and you are eating like a big big boy.
I love you Z and I hope one day you find someone who loves you as much as your mommy and I 

Write you again soon papa.

Love;

Daddy

Papa,

It’s June 3rd you’re 10 days away from being 10 months, it’s a day before your baptism and the GOAT died today. I never seen him fight and I never seen the fight that he fought for so many which was the war. He was and is an icon to many. He invented smack talk, mental warfare and anything that you can think of.
I will show you videos and interviews when you get older but I wanted to pay respects to him for all that he did in boxing and being an advocate for all of those who watched him and appreciated his art and craft.

RIP Mr. Muhammad Ali

Papa you are still up and I’m bout to put you down. I love you papa!!

Love,

Daddy

What up Z,

We’ll it’s been awhile since I last wrote you so I gotta back track. I’ll prolly be all over the place but hopefully you won’t get lost and you can follow along. Aite the Warriors are playing the Cavs for the championship for the 2nd straight season, the Sharks are playing the Penguins and the Giants are doing pretty good the Yankees are not the same without the real real players that I grew up watching.
Z last time I wrote you was mothers day and you were a champ that day, you were cute as can be and you couldn’t have made us any happier.
I was out and about and I seen a couple bring their 3 month old baby and I immediately judged them and said I wouldn’t want my papa out but then I checked myself too because I don’t know there situation and maybe they want there baby to be out and about I don’t know but I immediately thought damn I am one of those Dads. I’m just very cautious with you obviously you’re our first baby and we want you to be healthy etc.

Right now things are going smoothly at home and at work. I got 9 more days left and then boom summer break. I am going to be working a few hours a day but that’s spending money for you since I’ll be home with you and we will be able to hang out and kick it. You’re growing a few teeth and are becoming a toddler since you crawl, stand up on things, climb and you do a walk in your crib by holding the rails, you are also jumping sort of and that’s pretty cool to see. You smile everyday and giggle which makes my day that much better knowing that you are happy and excited each and every day.

Mommy and I are a little sick right now so we weren’t able to give you a lot of love this weekend because we didn’t want to get you sick but you’re doing great and besides some mocos here and there you are happy as can be 

Aite Z I gotta go but you behave yourself and don’t scratch yourself because we need you to be scratch free for your baptism this weekend. I love you to infinity and beyond papa.

Love you,
Daddy

Hi Papa,

You were as cute as a button yesterday! You make your mom and I complete your smile lights us up and feels us up with love.
We went to the table yesterday for brunch and it was awesome. Mommy was extremely happy with how you behaved and how cute you were being. Your mommy loves you a lot papa so be good to her, respect her and love her because she does everything she can to make sure you are happy.
I love you and I hope you feel the love that mommy and daddy have for you. Thank you for making mommy’s first mothers day special and thank you for being you my little papa.

Love you,

Daddy

Hi papa,

It’s Saturday morning and you’re up early but I’m not complaining since you have been sleeping really good. Just wanted to say what’s up and that I love you. Nothing new has happend but tomorrow is mothers day so we got get up early and do work. I think mommy is gonna be super emotional tomorrow as this is her 1st mothers day with you. Mommy had some very nice things to say about you yesterday and it was cool to hear. Zebastian you make us so proud you have made Mommy into a mommy and you have made me a Daddy. I know it’s not father’s day now but I’m proud to be your daddy and I’m proud of everything that mommy and I are doing to support you and raise you. I’m out papa.

Love,

Daddy

Jalo Zebastian,
Today is your first Cinco de Mayo and you were adorable. You are growing so fast!!! It’s seriously amazing to see you grow and come into your own baby skin. You are crawling now and you crawl fast. You’ve been getting close but it wasn’t until the last few days or so that you started to take off.
Everything is all good with mommy and I, work is work and we’re just in love with you and everything that you do. It’s gonna be mommy’s first official official mothers day this Sunday so I gotta make sure you look extra cute and you are well behaved cuz we gotta go to church and then to SJ to go and eat at the Table, that’s where mommy and I go when we have special lunches or dinners together.
Okay papa I gotta go and check up on you now since you’re sleeping and in the bed.

Love you,
Daddy