GG,

It’s almost midnight and you are almost here. I haven’t wrote you or written anything down because it’s been crazy and I’ve been scared. Your mommy is strong and is doing her best to make sure that when you come that you are as developed as possible.

Right now your brother Zebastian is asleep with mommy in our bed. We have a nursery that’s gonna be complete in less then a week and this is out last week with your brother being our only baby. I see your brother and sometimes I cry because I love him so much and it’s gonna be different with you coming into our world. When I mean it’s gonna be different I mean it in a good way.

I’m gonna go back and forth and try and fill you in whenever I remember things. First of all your brother thought you were going to be a boy and I did too but something said no it’s gonna be a girl. We were gonna do a gender reveal party thing but I think they are dumb so I was like nah I’m Koo off of that. Mommy came home with a ballon one day and we were gonna pop it. I closed my eyes and your brother and I popped it. When I opened them I saw pink and cried a little bit, I wanted a boy for Z but then I grabbed Z holding back tears and told him he’s gonna have to take care of his little sister and he said okay daddy.

GG you have a brother who absolutely loves you and has been a great big brother to you already. I know you will love him because he loves you.

As your Daddy I am scared because I know nothing about girls hair, dressing you, changing you and all that stuff but I am excited for the challenge and opportunity. I’m excited for being a girl dad and for you to be able to teach me things. I am scared about one day having to walk you down the aisle but I am also excited for our Father/ Daughter dance in school one day. I will play dress up with you and play dolls go to tea parties with you and anything else you want to do. I hope you look like your mom too!! I have a mini me in Zebastian already.

Z,

I love you so much and I really hope you feel it. I swear you are my best friend and I’m so happy you are my son and God chose me to be your Daddy. You love the ocean, walks/hikes, playing baseball which you are really good at!! You have some amazing hand eye coordination already and you get mad like me when I played sports. You love dinosaurs and Godzilla, we have daily battles with your toys and I think that we use that time to play with one another and I appreciate you and your innocents. I love you papa and thank you for showing me unconditional love and making me a better man.

BTW you said your first MF at home one day randomly and then you said it to Tio Mario. I laughed and was proud but was like damn I really can’t say anything in front of you. I will take all the credit for your bad language at 4 years old!

Anyways it’s late and I’m gonna go to bed! Tia Diana aka Baby D had her graduation party today and I took a nap from being so full. This is our last week as a family of 3 so I’m gonna be extra emotional and loving with you.

Gabby “ I’m tired” not gonna miss you saying that lol but you have been amazing and extremely strong this go around. You have done so much and are so super amazing! I love you with all my heart and appreciate everything you have done because you look good and have kicked ass this pregnancy!! I will continue to try and be patient and not complain. 😍

Good night the 3 of you. I love you all and GG welcome to the familia!

Love,

Daddy

Hi Z,

It’s been a very long time since I’ve written what’s happened in our little world. Well first and foremost we are all okay thank God. The world on the other hand is facing a crazy virus that has taken lives and has no end in sight. You however have made the most out of this. You have mama home even though she’s working from home and no school. You got the both things you wanted. We are doing good with you, teacher Rocio is sending out homework and mommy is doing that with you which is good. We go on walks everyday and play games. Mama Mari had a scare before everything went to shit so we are lucky to have her with us. We visit and we finally passed Donkey Kong. You were so happy when we did that. Right now we are supposed to be in a shelter in place for at least another month and thankfully you have a ton of toys and love from everyone to keep you busy. We are working on things together and you have a pretty good attitude with everything so that males me happy. Okay Z I’ll be writing you more on the things I didn’t write you about prior. Like always Z be good and take care of yourself and remember to be humble and to always help out whenever and wherever you can. I love you with all my heart.

Love you,

Daddy

Z,

Right now I’m downstairs while you’re upstairs asleep with mommy. I’m thinking back on our last few days and I’m one proud papa. One of the things that stuck out to me was when we said by to the nurses they all said bye Z and you went to every available nurse said bye and gave them a hug! Yes we told you to say bye to them but you and your little heart decided to say bye with a hug and I was proud. You’re such a good boy but then you can snap into being a sour patch and get mad quick but for that minute you were as sweet as can be!

Last night we were all asleep by maybe 9pm. My friend called and texted me and I didn’t see it until about 9:45 and then I went back to sleep. I woke up next to you and mommy and was happy as can be.

You took your medicine and of course you were pissed but it’s all good. We went to your grandmas house for like 30 minutes and then you wanted to come home. I ran errands and you went with me on one so it was cool to just have you with me.

We did have a welcome back home dinner for you where we had cake and of course you were you and you didn’t wait and just started eating it on your own.

Sorry back tracking here, we cleaned out all of the toys that you haven’t played with and filled up a bag full of toys and hopefully we can donate them to a place where they can use them.

Z please continue to be good and I hope when you read these one day you realize or just imagine how much I love you and how much mommy does.

With all my heart! I love you!!!

Daddy

Z,

I’m in the hospital room 343 with you but before that we were in the ER and prior to that we were in and out of the doctors office yesterday getting blood work and trying to figure out what’s going on.

Well Z you have pneumonia! I don’t know how or why you got it but you did. The doctor said something about your white blood cells being high but not to worry as it’s not cancer or leukemia. After they told us that they had to do blood work for the second time and I started to tear up. I stayed strong but the tears were coming and I was like shit…. all these nurses prolly laughing at me but it hurt me more then it hurt you and I hated it. One day you will know the feeling when you have your own babies.

So we’re gonna be here for another day and it’s okay we are bored but I called out sick for tomorrow as I need to take care of you!

I love you Z and you’re such a good boy everyone was very impressed by you and how strong you are. There’s a lot more I could say but since I haven’t written in so long I thought I’d just tell you what’s going on now. I will write you later papa!!

Love you,

Daddy

Z,

It’s about a week late but man I’m a baby and I wanted to tell you. Papa I took you to school on the 8/15/19 and I cried like a baby. You cried but I was strong BUT once you looked back holding the teachers hand I balled up holding it back and then you looked back again and I went to the car with tears coming down my face. You’re still my baby but you’re growing up and it’s something that I need to be okay with. Mommy and daddy love you but we have to let you grow and be independent.

School so far is going good and I’m just happy that you are being active and playing with kids because that’s where you are going to learn and grow.

I don’t have much time because I gotta clean up since I made dinner, shower and get gas still so I love you and I wish you could be this little forever because I love you more then anything in this world. Be good and always be respectful to everyone.

Love you,

Daddy

Zebastian,

You’re 4!! We had your very first birthday party in Stockton on Sunday and Daddy was happy. Being home always makes me happy but seeing you talk, play, yell and smile with your cousins made me happy. There was nothing more I could have asked for than seeing you smile and run around.

Today was a chill day. We did some grown up stuff but we also took care of you!! We got you breakfast, toys, video games and all the love and attention you could ask for. You are a little sick so that sucks for us but you’re being good and not complaining which is good!!

I’m tired Z and I haven’t been able to write you all crazy but I will make it up. I just wanted to tell you how your day went and what you did.

I love you papa!

Goodnight and love,

Daddy

Hi Z,

We just had our vacation to LA and Disneyland and it was amazing. Mommy and daddy had so much fun and we know that you did too!!! We went swimming and to Disneyland which was cool but it’s like cool for maybe once a year but will see because you love everything Disney that we do too so will see.

The trip there was amazing but I had the most fun on Saturday. We ate breakfast, you didn’t and we realized like damn this fool don’t eat ( don’t get mad that I called you a fool that’s just me talking). We left the park early since you were asleep and we went straight to Lazy Dog where we love going to eat. We got tipsy! Not all crazy but Tia Nena and Mommy and Daddy and then we went to Sprouts and got some more drank and went straight to the pool where we swam and swam and swam. You love the water and makes my day because I love the water too and I can be in the pool all day with you so it was awesome.

We got ready and headed back to the park where you go to go on a few rides and watch the firework show so it all worked out.

Today was my first day back at work and I missed you but I know all of this work is with it in the end.

Today is Tia Diana aka baby D birthday and you said happy birthday baby D when we went to mama Marys so I was proud.

Mommy is worried about you starting school because you roar silently at other kids but I think it’s a phase and you’re little so it’s all good to me. I think you know when to chill and you’re my baby. I’m nervous too but I know we’ve raised you right and you’re emotional because we never yell at you or do anything like that so hopefully you will be okay and you got us if you ever need anything. We got your back.

Okay papa well I’m gonna get ready to get off of work so I love you and I’ll hold you tight soon! BTW you still sleep in our bed in the middle and I wouldn’t change it for the world.

I love you!

Daddy

Baby Yoshi,

This is what you are currently into. You love Yoshi and playing Mario Kart and any game with Yoshi in it. You’re the best and I love you so much. Today you got a hair cut and we didn’t see mama Jesse because she was busy so I took you next door and the young lady who cut your hair did a good job. You were talking all crazy and flirting with her. I was like this fool spitting game and he barley started talking a few months ago. I told mommy that I could cry because I’m so proud of you for finding your voice and just being the best baby we could have ever asked for.

Just wanted to write you and tell you that I’m proud and we love you so much. We’re starting to use the camera and we want to start making videos of you so you can see when you get older.

Anyways papa I love you and I miss you all day everyday. You’re my best friend Yoshi I mean baby Yoshi.

Love always,

Daddy

Zebastian,

How I love you and miss you is insane. Z I started a new path and have been going hard so that we can do everything that we want and have everything that we need. I’m grinding and I miss you everyday that I’m not with you but this is all for our future and I’m hoping it will pay off.

Everything is good. Tia Nena is taking care of you since she’s off, Tia baby D is taking care of you cuz she’s not in school. Everyone is off from work except for mommy and daddy. Your Tio Alex and David love you like no other.

Right now you are into Mario and you call yourself baby Yoshi so of course we’re buying you everything that you want.

Since I last wrote you nothings been too crazy, you finally got better and are now sleeping and chilling more. You played soccer but you really just played tag with other kids that weren’t interested lol. We had a birthday party for papa Grandpa David and it was nice you were the center of attention and just love everyone.

We just got back from Mexicali and you were amazing. You say in your car seat the whole time probably for the first time and it was cool. You played with your cousins and told me how hot it was lol. You played in a baby pool threw water balloons and were just the best.

I love you Z and I love sleeping next to you and feeling you hold me when we sleep or your toes dig into my legs. Waking up to you is the best part of my day. You ask “where’s mommy” and I say ” at work” you say “why” and I say ” so we can go to vacation and so we can buy you toys and then you smile and say okay” then you say ” where are we like 5 times” and I say “home” and you say “mommy’s house!?” Yes papa you say ” okay 5 times.

You’re crazy!! You talk so much now and go to the potty. You’re still walking on your toes which we’re trying to stop but you keep doing it so I don’t know what we are gonna do to correct that but whatever it is I hope you stop it so you don’t hurt yourself.

You also went to school once or twice in May and you are now signed up to go to school everyday starting in August so hopefully you’ll be good and you’ll like it.

Okay papa I’m just writing you without making sense so be good I love you and I’ll see you in a little bit.

Love you

Daddy

Zizou,

You’re asleep right next to me and have been going through a lot lately. You have had a cough for like a month in a half. You’ve been using a breathing treatment to help you and have been good at taking your medicine.

This update is going to be all over the place so I’m sorry if you get lost.

You’re growing and have been over the last few months and have been handing everything good. You’re doing good in school and socializing a lot. You’re also playing soccer which is new and I’m almost ready to pull you out because you’re 3.5 and you’re not ready but will see. You did good at practice and are kind of liking it so hopefully this is the first of many practices and games in your future.

Easter 2019 was in Stockton. You had a blast and I loved seeing you run around with your cousins who love you. I wish we lived closer so you could be closer to them and I can see you run around and play with them. Hopefully one day we will because I want you to have these memories and relationships with your familia.

I love you Z. Continue to grow and keep on learning. Remember mommy and daddy love you and will do anything for you. Never give up and if you need anything I will always be here for you so don’t ever feel like you can’t ask me for anything okay.

I love you,

Daddy