Hi Z,

Today you had school but you did not go. I said Z we’re going to school today around 10:00am and you cried like you always do but we’re cool. I made breakfast for us downstairs and it was cool. I got a call from mama and she was like don’t take him I’m gonna get out early I’m gonna take him on a date. I was like no, he needs to go to school but then I said hey if you (mama) wants to take him out on a date then she can do that. We ate and I was like Z we’re going on a surprise and you were like “surprise”? We got ready really quick and we waited outside for mama. Mama was surprised! Prolly surprised that we were ready because that was ahead of schedule. We went to the movies and watched Wonderland and it was a good movie, you liked it and it was definitely nice to see you smile and jump in your seat.

After the movie we got some headphones for you and you actually wore them, they are the Incredible headphones so that was nice. You also got another nerf gun and then we went and ate and you had papas while mommy and I had seafood.

We went to mama Mari’s and chilled for a little bit and then we watched TV at home and rested. We went to my Crossfit Friday night lights and I did okay. I came out flat but it’s all good. I’m gonna redo it on Sunday.

This week was fun, we only went to school once this week which was bad but you’ll go all next week so will be good.

We went to some jumping place which was cool and you went to the park a few times this week so it was good. I can tell you love mommy and me and we love you more then you know.

Z be good and listen to mommy and daddy. We love you more then you will ever know and we do whatever we can to provide for you.

Tomorrow we are gonna go on a hike and have breakfast so I hope you are resting and I’m looking forward to hanging out with you.

Love you,

Daddy

Hi Z,

Right now you’re asleep next to mommy and I’m in your room watching TV. I just wanted to say I love you and I appreciate you. You’re growing so much and changing so much that I appreciate all of the hard work and patience that you have had. It’s crazy because a year ago you were not talking. We communicated by pointing and some sign language. I was worried I was scared but I never expressed it because I knew when this day would come you were gonna go all out and you have. I think damn it was “easier” when he didn’t talk but because you’re so bossy and tell us to be quiet. But anyhow Z you are doing an amazing job and you kind of like school but it’s weird. You don’t like getting ready to go to school and don’t like it when I drop you off but you have fun and when I pick you up you have stuff all over your face,hair and clothes and say “no I don’t wanna go home daddy”. I laugh and pick you up and get a hug and a kiss.

I don’t know what I did here so sorry that I messed it up.

All in all Z you’re doing amazing and are growing so much. We had Valentine’s Day and you made cards, gave out candy and snacks. We went to Stockton and hung out with the family and even got to hang out with papa Mikes family which was cool because they never get to see you.

Okay Z I’ll write you again soon. Love you with all of my heart papa!

• 

Zizou,

You might officially be potty trained and it’s kind of cool. You have accomplished a lot of mile stones recently. I don’t know if they are milestones all crazy but to me they are. You have given up the sippy cup which you would want all the time at least 2-3x a day. You are potty trained. You picked up going pee pee right away but we would use pull ups and I think you would take advantage of it and go on purpose. Now recently you started saying poo poo and boom it’s a rap. We always ask you but now you’re telling us all crazy. Z your talking and expressing yourself which is assume. We love hearing your voice and love that you are communicating.

In today’s news Mariano Rivera became the first inducted hall of fame baseball player to get 100% unanimous votes which beat Ken Griffey Jr. which I think I wrote you about. The sand man is/was a G and I hope you have athletes like how I did growing up to watch and learn from.

Other then that Z everything is going well. The teacher said your are really attached to me and that’s because of my schedule right now. I love the time that we have with one another and I’m learning to be patient with you too because you don’t like something boom you will hit me or bite me but you are learning and the good thing is that you act right when you are at school. You hate it and give me hell and it breaks my heart but it’s for the best and I’ll never forget how I felt the first time I dropped you off.

Okay Z just wanted to update you on how things are going and all that. Will be in touch soon.

Love you,

Daddy

Z,

Ugh what can I say? Right now I’m happy and just so proud of you. You are such an amazing little boy I swear I’m the luckiest person in the world because God chose me to be your daddy. We fight one another we play with one another we say sorry, we cuddle but most importantly we love each other.

Z you’re asleep right now with mommy, you woke up hella late today like 10:45am but you did wake up early and then crashed out. You tell mama no more work mama no more work and no more school no more school. I’m like hell nah you going to school boy! You are talking so much and just maturing and growing everyday. It’s amazing and I’m just happy for you. I pray for you every day and every night. I pray that you are a happy baby and that you find the little voice that’s inside you so you can share your thoughts and ideas with the world.

Everything is good papa, your cousins came and visited you from the 209 and it was nice. I wish we lived in the 209 or a little closer so that you can play with your cousins and see grandma and grandpa more. I know your Tia Lolie would spoil you like crazy. Your grandma loves you so much and I want you to keep in touch with your cousins when I’m no longer here because I know that’s what Grandma would want and that’s what I want. Family is family and we may all not be on the same page but I love all of my cousins and I wish I could see them more and keep in contact but it’s hard when you grow up and start a family. I know my Grandma Anna would be happy if the family all got together again and spent some time together. Sorry I got distracted! Anyways Boo Boo, Gavin, Nico and Sachie came out and played with you at Chuck E Cheese. It was cute, Grandma had to leave early cuz she’s old and can’t drive in the dark so when everyone left you wanted to jump in the car with them and I said no cuz we had to go home you cried and cried and that broke my heart because I know you love them and just want to hang out and be a kid. Maybe this weekend you will go to the 209 and you can see them and all of your other cousins.

Z I love you and more then anything want for you to be a good boy, be respectful and to always remember where you come from. We ain’t poor and you ain’t gonna live a poor life or ever go with out but I don’t want you to be some spoiled ass kid making poor choices. Be good and remember everything that mommy and daddy have taught you. We love you and are so proud of you.

Love you to infinity and beyond!

Love,

Daddy

Papa,

You fell asleep last night around 9:30pm which was early for you as you have been sleeping pretty late around 11:30-12ish.

Today I took your Pre-K paperwork to school and they said you could start today. Your tia Nena said it was full and you will start next fall, your mom thought you would start in a month but I knew you were going to start this week but you started today 1-7-18.

Your teacher said say bye to papa and you did, you gave me a kiss and that was it. I was kicked out of your class and didn’t know what to do with myself. I called your mom and she was freaking out but it was good. I’m glad I didn’t have time to think or anything because it allowed me to be in the moment.

Z I love you and I’m proud of you. You did well in school today and I’m just proud of you. You are growing up and I’m just happy to be your daddy. I walked into the class and seen you cuddling with your teacher and then you saw me and ran towards me yelling “daddy”. I’m glad I didn’t get emotional because I really wanted to shed a tear but I know in my heart I couldn’t as this was a happy “dad moment” and I need to get used to this.

Anyways Z be good to your classmates and to your teacher. Find your voice and let everyone hear you roarrrrrr.

Love Daddy,

Z,

It’s a sad day for papa. Papa lost a friend on Sunday and I’m in my feelings. It’s the thing that I fear the most and the thing that makes me sad.

It’s part of the reason why I write you so you know how I think and what makes me happy and all of the things that we do with one another and as a family. I want for you to read and see the memories that we’ve made and one day read them to me like how I read you books now.

Papa I love you and I’m so happy that I’m off tomorrow so we can hang out. You make my days better and I never have a bad day when we’re together even when you bite me or act like a brat. Papa loves you no matter what.

I love you Z

Love Daddy

Hi Zebastian,

It’s Thursday December 6th and we have a few more days without mommy. Mommy is in Davis for work and you and I have been face timing her and it’s been cool. I’ve been taking care of you and your grandparents have helped too. It’s not easy but you’ve managed to do well. I would have thought you would have cried for her but you like understood that mommy was going to work and you even said it “mama working” like you accepted it. It’s been hard for me. I don’t sleep without mommy and you very often and it’s sucks for me because I don’t sleep the same but I know it’s good for mommy and it’s good for us.

Right now you are talking more and more. You love dinosaurs and Godzilla. I don’t know how you got into Godzilla but it’s cool. Everything is going good here at home. This time of year sucks because it’s cold and rainy but you have fun and we try and do fun things for you.

I love you Z and I love how innocent you are and all of the love and joy that you bring all of us. I know I would be lost without you and mommy too. We both suck, we haven’t slept good and all because we’re not together and we miss one another and as a family we are doing okay supporting one another but together we are stronger as we are united. Sleeping in bed with you without mommy is hard lol. I can roll over knowing you have mommy and now I try to sleep facing you so you know I’m there.

Alright Z it’s early I’m gonna try and hit the gym and then pick up some snacks. I love you papa!

Love,

Daddy

Z,

Well it’s voting day today and daddy is going to go to San Jose to vote prolly for the last time since I’ll officially change my license soon.

Anyways we went down to El Centro to visit TaTa and it was such a fun trip. You did good in your ‘suite’ aka the back of the Tahoe. This was also the first trip where we had no bottles as you have kicked that habit lol and you also didn’t have any diapers!!! You are such a big boy!! We went and ate at Lazy Dog a place that your mom loves and it was good. I was nervous about you going potty on yourself but I figured he’s older now and you can tell us and when we ask you,you usually tell us so that’s good. So I asked you before we left the restaurant and of course you said no. We get in the car a few minutes later and you say pee-pee so we didn’t have any other options but for you to go in the car. You went potty in a cup and we all laughed and cheered you on.

You played with Noah and Ema this last weekend. You threw a car and hit Ema in the face and then you cried. It wasn’t funny that you hit her but I did have to talk to you.

Overall you did amazing and we’re very proud of you. Also you got a new pair of shoes. You’re growing up so fast and growing out of clothes and shoes.

Anyways Z just wanted to say I love you and I’m very proud of you. Keep growing and learning!

Love,

Daddy

I’ve failed to write you for 2 months.

Let’s go back. September 1st was your moms bday and we went to Sacramento and Stockton for the weekend.

I’ve been taking a few exams lately and during one of those trips I talked to V and he gave me some tips into potty training. We’ve been doing it and you are almost there. It’s been about a month and when we are dedicated and not doing anything you’re successful but when we run around you go potty but it’s good. You are almost there.

Mommy has had some health scares. Will tell you about that when you get older.

I’ve been good. Busy working and trying to do as much as I can for you.

Z you’re doing good speech is coming around and the doctor said you might be as big as 6 feet or bigger. Hopefully you will be big and strong.

It’s October 30th and you cried when mommy got you a costume. You’re gonna be a T Rex since you love dinosaurs and specifically T Rex.

All in all everything is good. You’re growing fast and I’m glad I’m able to spend all this time with you. You are a handful and violent sometimes when you show you ‘care’ but it’s all good.

I love you son!

Love Daddy

Zebastian,

You’re out like a light. You’re 3 years old and I’m loving being your daddy. Right now I’m just reflecting on how you have changed me and how I want to be the best daddy to you. I always say time is money and if I’m going to be away from you and mommy then it better be because I’m making money to take care of us. I always think that there should be a life balance with sports, gym, solo time, family time, friends and all that. Lately I’ve been busy but I’m doing well with holding it all down. Being a daddy is important to me and today we spent some time together and it was nice because you’re growing up and communicating more so it’s cool for me to see that.

You make us very proud and we love you more then you’ll ever know. Z I love you with all my heart and I hope that you will carry on everything that I have done with you to your family one day. I have shared with you the ocean that my papa shared and I’m passing that down to you. Be respectful to the water cuz that ain’t no joke.

I’m all over the place and this isn’t meant to be an update or anything it’s more of me telling you that I love you and I had a good day with you. Keep smiling and know that mommy and daddy love you!

Love,

Daddy