Z this is so funny and I laughed out loud when I found out. Today I bought a bag of candy and I gave you a pack of M&M’s and you for some reason came downstairs and when you went back upstairs your mom ate them and you said “son of a /;&?!” which had mama shook and of course me happy and proud that you talk like me but at the same time like damn this dude catches it all. For going to speech and school and class today you had the energy to argue with mama over candy.
Gigi you are teething and it’s crazy how much you are eating and just smiling all over the place. You are so strong and a blessing to all of us. You are also spoiled AF you are in are arms 24/7 and cry when we put you down. You are officially wearing 3-6 month clothing and are extremely long. You weigh 12 pounds and some change.
Okay we’re gonna finish watching a movie and drinking our wine. We love you both! Go lakers!
Today was a special day and one that made me tear up. One of the things that I remembered was learning how to ride a bike when I was young. I had a red BMX bike. Today we took off the training wheels and you did it! You rode the bike without training wheels and I was so proud. Probably one of the best dad moments I’ve ever had.
Z you have come such a long ways! You are eating more and more!! Trying new foods and just being the best at everything.
Right now you are doing a breathing treatment and I got Gigi in my arms but man what a day!
Love you papa! I will write you again soon! Mommy’s birthday is tomorrow and we have to get her things!
Love you papa and thanks for making me a proud daddy today!
Well shit is crazy in California are home state. Fires and Covid has been nuts. Z you’re basically getting home schooled and Gigi you’re just eating and sleeping lol.
Today is Kobe’s day and I felt happy but sad at the same time. I looked up to Kobe for being a girl dad and I have you Gigi and I remember crying like a baby cuz he passed with 4 girls and one passed with him.
Today we did a carna asada for him and I got tipsy but not all crazy. I didn’t give a speech out loud cuz I knew I would get emotional but I did say I’m happy we are together as a family and we are all alive and doing well.
Anyways I gotta make this quick but I love you both and you both make me a better person. I love you guys!
Damn Z what an amazing day it was to celebrate your birthday! We had a doughnut b day pyramid for you and mama and papa came to surprise you in the morning after school. Your new classmates sang HBD and you loved it. You were shy but you did say thank you and enjoyed it which was amazing to see. We went and ran errands and we both got haircuts.
After all that was done we set up the pool and you went swimming which was cool. You have a little kid pool but you looked amazing and I loved it. We rode bikes and we had a dinner for you. S’mores and cake was amazing as well.
The highlight was seeing you open your gifts and everyone got you gifts which was amazing and awesome. You are so loved and the expressions you gave were so innocent and of pure joy.
Prior to all of this I was upstairs with your mom and I was reading her my post on IG. I started to cry because I love you so much. I cried for like 10 minutes because I always tel you I love you but I never sit back and reflect on the joy that you have given me as being your daddy. So I cried in the bathroom as I was just sobbing because I don’t want you to ever get hurt and I want you to be my baby forever but I know that’s not gonna happen. Part of you growing up is learning how to get back up when you fall down and I want to give you those skills so you know that you’re the bomb and nobody can touch you or take that away from you. SHSF papa!
You got some amazing gifts but the best ones were your Jelly shirt and your shark that Gigi got you! Z please be responsible and look after your sister because y’all are blood and we gotta take care of one another.
You all up in the bed still! But the truth is I wouldn’t have it any other way! I love co sleeping with you and mommy and sometimes Gigi. Right now everyone is asleep and we got a surprise for you in the morning for your 5th birthday. It seems like yesterday you were born and I still cry when I see you because I am so proud of you. You are a handful though you have an attitude, no patience and hate being told what to do! I think I described myself too lol. Anyways Z please continue to be the best you and big brother that you are. We love you and I wish I could freeze time but life moves on and the sun rises everyday so let’s keep on trucking and I look forward in seeing you accomplish all of the things that you set out for and then some.
It’s bed time but I wanna tell you both how happy I am and how much I love you both. It’s gonna be short but Z you love your sissy and always jump, kiss and wanna hold your sissy when she’s being fed or sleeping. Gigi you’re gaining weight and showing good signs that you’re getting bigger and that everything is okay. Everyone sleeps in the middle and I love it. My neck and my back don’t but whatever.
I’m sad and lost. I’m writing cuz maybe it will help me. An accident happened yesterday when I wasn’t home and now you’re in Palo Alto. I’m numb and I know things are looking good but all these what ifs are playing out in my head. I don’t know and I hope that none of this will affect you growing up but there’s a possibility. I slept by myself yesterday and I didn’t like it. I didn’t have you or your brother with me and I didn’t sleep. I felt like this was a bad dream or something that just wasn’t real. I worked yesterday and put up a front. I haven’t really cried either. I’m mad and I’m never really mad but I’m just frustrated on what happened and don’t know how to feel. Shit happens but shot like that shouldn’t happen and just cuz it happens often dose not mean that it’s okay. I’m very protective of my kids and my money and you can’t mess with those. I’m hurt and even if you are okay I’m still hurt because that’s just me. Maybe this will make me stronger or maybe I won’t ever be able to get passed this only time will tell.
The 9 days that I’ve had with you have been amazing. I tell people how in love I am with you and how obsessed your brother is. We love you like you can’t even imagine. My favorite thing to do is just stare at you and hold you. I haven’t given you a big kiss because I’m scared but with this shit happening I’m going to start to do it. My life is upside down right now and hopefully when you get back I’ll be okay but will see.
Nurses have said that you are adorable, pretty and beautiful. I smile cuz most babies look like grumpy old people but you are beautiful and Cush a sweet heart. You have us wrapped around your little finger snd we could be more in love.
Z I love you. You’re such a good big brother and I wish I could be with you during this time. I have nothing right now but I’ll make it up to you as soon as GG comes back to us. You’re chilling with your grandparents without a worry in the world. I wish you could be here with me to try and make me feel better but I know you’re having fun. I’ll write to you again soon papa.
Well I’m gonna go and try and sleep or do something to keep my mind occupied. I love you Gizel and I can’t wait till you come back home so I can be even more tired from not sleeping but at least I know you will be in our bed and in our arms. I love you baby girl!
Today is I think the 30th and I just checked and it is. I slept with GG her first night and was useless. I slept almost the whole night and felt bad. The second night I slept with Zebastian who woke up around 3 with a bloody nose. Mommy stayed with you GG so she’s a trooper. Friday I woke up with Z made him his breakfast and did some stuff then came to the hospital. I fixed an I pad that I got for mommy 4 years ago I think that she lost when your brother was around 1 or so. We’ve been watching our shows on it to pass the time. Mommy is breastfeeding and pumping to get you milk and so far so good.
Right now it’s about 2am and I’ve been up for an hour or more so that mommy can rest but you all up on her literally won’t let her chill or sleep without you on her boobs. You’ve been a good baby so far and you are wearing premie diapers. You took a big dump on me well not on me but while I was changing you and I laughed because your brother did the same thing to me. I am feeling good and confident about you and about being a girl dad. I’ll be very honest I didn’t know if I could love anyone as much as I love your brother and I did want a boy so your brother could play sports with and when I found out you were a girl I was like oh shit I don’t know nothing about them. I still don’t know anything but I love being a girl dad and I do love you like no words can describe. I’m gonna do my best to be the best example that I can be as well as teach you to be independent.
Zebastian,
You’re the best! You my friend are a beautiful human being. You have so much love to give and want to be reunited with your family. I spent the night with you on Thursday and I knew you needed daddy since you were sad these last few days. We played dinosaurs your favorite and of course you won. We watched Bluey and it’s a cool cartoon because you said that’s our family since we are a family of four. Things are good papa and I can’t wait for you to meet your sister you are gonna be in love with her and I can’t wait for you to see your mommy again. You’re so little and Innocent and I’m in love with you since you’re my mini me. You and your sister look alike so it’s gonna be funny to see how she looks when she gets bigger but y’all are twins at this same stage when you were her age. My papa bear I love you!
Okay I’m out y’all I need to try and get some rest too but I’ll keep y’all posted!
Hi baby girl this is your Daddy! I’m a girl dad and you are perfect! You have dimples a head full of hair and are such a sweet heart! You were born at 7:59am and came out crying/screaming. I immediately got tears in my eyes and told your mommy I loved her. I got to cut your umbilical cord and watch them clean you. I was in the moment as your mom and I had talked about last night.
Last night before you were born your brother fell asleep early and then woke up because his stomach hurt and your mom held him until he fell back to sleep. We both slept but it wasn’t like a deep sleep. Mommy and I were both nervous and we woke up this morning like damn this is it she’s coming.
We made it to the hospital and we got nervous of course we head Lana Del Rey with a Kaskade remix so your mom loved that.
Anyways your here I love you and I’m gonna focus on mommy cuz she’s hurting!
PS Your brother said you were cute and he wants to meet you and how did you get here lol
You had an amazing day and I loved every minute of it! The beach was amazing the ride over there to Monterey was super so much fun and our lunch in n out was delicious. I was nervous and scared but I was thankful for our day together. Our life is going to change today as your sister is being born.
We went to Darlene house yesterday too and you played for another 2 hours with the kids and it was so much fun. You love the water and you have so much love to give Z.
Okay Z I’m at the hospital with mama. We both cried leaving you because you mean that much to us!! Mommy gonna be like get off your phone so I’m out!
daddytozebastian 